I’ve always wished I could be an artist. I enjoy doodling, but even in elementary school I found that I couldn’t keep from comparing my works with the works of my peers and feeling inferior. I remember being told that if I joined band that I wouldn’t have to take art in middle school, it was a huge relief because then I could have something I was good at.
Instead it was one more thing that I found myself constantly comparing with my peers and I was still feeling inferior.
Inferiority is destructive and it can halt progress quicker than any other force in my experience. This ditch it way of living has left me a bit unfulfilled as a 23 year old. That isn’t even the worst part. It has left me bitter and encouraged me to constantly tear myself down and to tear others down.
It also has attributed to years of false humility.
You are not being humble just because you tear yourself down and beat yourself up. You are being a bully! A bully to yourself. To who you are. To who you want to be.
And more than likely this causes you to bully others. Maybe it is subtle, but still you find yourself lashing out.
Replace “you” and “yourself” with “I” and “myself”.
It is time to stop measuring my abilities based on the abilities of those around me. It is time to start loving what I do and start doing what I love.
It just feels like it is time for me to stop apologizing for not measuring up to standards that no one has put on place besides myself.