I’ve Been A Critic

The devotional I did today was really poignant as it instructed me to stop being rude to my family.  It was tough hearing my life written down on a few pages, “You may be barking or pouting around the house, but if the front door chimes, you open it all smiling and kind.”

Talk about a punch to the gut.

Then right as the thought popped into my head that sometimes the family who I love so much is rude first “you’re likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness.”

The author certainly knows how to make you stop and question your thoughts, actions, and motives.

So along with making me check when I’m being rude, I was forced to take a second look at my motives and why I found myself critiquing the behavior of those around me.

It can be so hard to criticize others.

*shakes head*

No, that’s not right.

It can be so hard to criticize who we are and what we do.

That’s better.

I think we feel like that first idea is the correct one though.  Somewhere in our minds we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s a hard job snubbing our noses at others and judging others.  Once we have it in our head that it’s a difficult job, we find some kind of martyrdom in it.  We persuade ourselves to accept that there is some kind of self-sacrifice in criticizing other people.

“Love is not rude, but lifts you to a higher standard.”

I’ve been giving a hard go at this no gossiping thing.  It’s involved a couple days of biting my tongue, and a few times of laying my head in my hands and wishing I could push the clock back five minutes and stop justifying my need to gossip.

“Love is not rude, but lifts you to a higher standard.”

It can be so hard to build others up when they aren’t as perfect as we like to imagine we are.

Sometimes I think we desire for criticizing others to be the difficult part, so that we can proclaim some form of martyrdom.  We want so desperately for all our hard work to be for something.  We build up ourselves by tearing others down in the name of “self-improvement”, hoping that somehow this fixes us and that it causes the people around us to find some desire to fix who they are.  Somewhere in all of that supposed selflessness, we have lost the goal.

We miss true humbleness and selflessness because we’ve used them to disguise our selfishness and ignorance.

How can we ever inspire someone to change if our requests are so hypocritical and self-absorbed?

Instead of tearing down the people we love, we should turn towards ourselves and be the change we want to see.  We should just simply love everyone without expectations for that love back.  This means our friends, strangers, and enemies.  It also means the people who share your home, your last name, and the blood running through your veins.

This entry was posted in Emotions, Faith, Family, Home, Parenting, Personal Growth, Positive Living and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I’ve Been A Critic

  1. Nicole says:

    I struggle with this myself. More so after becoming a Mother. I started being so critical of who and what my son was around. Who was good enough to watch him while I was gone, who wasn’t good enough and why. I have let up a little, but still have a lot of work to do. As you said in your post, it’s time for some self reflection. Good luck on your journey. I’ll be on it with you.

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