Easily Discouraged

Lately I’ve been easily discouraged.

I prefer being vegetarian.  It seems like once the announcement is made though because it’s a big deal for me personally, lots of people have to give their two cents.  It isn’t that I take issue with answering questions, it’s just that feeling like I am not taken seriously merely because I have different opinions hurts.  I know, thicker skin and all that, but it is easier said than done.

Sometimes I have to reflect on how silly I am being too, which I know I am being about this particular subject.  We’ve been training for a half marathon, my mother and I.  I’ve never been in one before, neither of us have.  So since we started training I’ve loved and gotten used to training with Aedan in my jogging stroller.  In fact, some days he is what pushes me to finish because he is part of why I want to be healthier, amongst other things.

When my mom read that the race was stroller free, I was heartbroken.  The part of me that still struggles greatly with my self-esteem started yelling at me.  It’s like a voice that just tells me over and over that I am worthless.  It took over 24-hours for me to convince myself that I was just feeling things that were not based on reason, but based on negative thoughts about myself.

I was so easily discouraged though, that I even played around with the idea of not doing the half marathon.

Silliness.

I may be easily discouraged, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t pick myself back up again and do what I need to do.

Joshua 1:9 says:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

I want to abstain from eating meat and avoiding animal products when possible.  I want to walk/run our local half marathon.  Now what stands in my way are the decisions associated with these desires – do I listen to the negative part of my being which constantly tries to bring me down?  Or do I embrace the strength and courage that exist inside of me?

Have you ever found yourself challenged to embrace your positive self?

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One Response to Easily Discouraged

  1. Victoria / Justice Pirate says:

    I don’t really find this to be silly at all. I can understand how this would make you feel discouraged. It is good that you are able to admit when you have pains and tribulations. That is sad that you can’t run the marathon while pushing a stroller, but then again personally I haven’t heard of any marathons that involved anything other than someone’s own self. As long as you are serving Jesus, that’s all that matters. Personal choices of what you eat and maintaining a healthy lifestyle in doing so, is fine and lovely.

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